Late night cigg talk
4:55 a.m. - 2003-07-11

Why are guys so dumb?

Kris tells me he wanted to come over and have a cigg with me tonight. Well i looked like shit..its was around 1am.

So i told him i needed to get ready...which i took a shower, shaved, did my hair & put my make-up on in a HALF HOUR...i know i know...actually 25min...hello..thats a new record for me. Anyway i come back online and he wasnt answering me...for 10min im sitting there trying to talk to him and hes not answering. Now i was pissed. So i talked to Dana and asked her to IM him, and see if he would talk to her. Guess what? HE DID.

I got so upset, that i IM'd him and told him basically to fuck off. He got upset and said he was sorry he was about to fall asleep but when he saw Dana's IM he thought she was with bands and stuff (because Kris books bands and shows...blah)

Whatever. I explained to him that i got ready and that i'll just go have a cigg by myself. I was crying at this point. He felt bad so even though it was late and he had work in a couple of hours he decided to come over...he lives in Elmwood Park.

We hung out for like a half hour...and then he went home. I got the sweetest hug...hes so adorable. I can't even say hot or cute...hes just adorbale...weird for being Randy's brother...he looks NOTHING like Randy....plus Kris is younger...hes 22...but hes so adorable..(yes i know again with the word, sorry)

Well needless to say he goes on the comp when he gets home...hes like 5 min away from my house...and i find out he wanted to kiss me. AWWW. I was talking to Dana at this time and she was sooo happy for me.

Well...its 5am...and im a lil tired...hopefully ill talk to Kris later...i can't wait to tell Nikki...she'll be happy for me, she thought Kris was cute.

Im sure ill fuck this up in some way though...i dont think im ment for a relationship. Maybe Anthony's right...maybe i find something wrong in guys and dump them before they dumb me. Am i that scared to be in a relationship?

P.S.: MAJOR THANKS TO DANA, I LOVE YA GIRLIE...IF IT WASNT FOR YOU...THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED...YOUR THE BEST...LYTTBAATT!!! 4EVER!

*~*What if I missed you, You got caught in the sun What if I did something

Never to be enough*~*

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I believe in love, in arguing, in jamming out by yourself in the car. I believe in smiling till your cheeks hurt and laughing until you cry. I believe in having someone tell you you're beautiful, dancing in the rain, and miracles. I believe in second chances, even if you've completely screwed up. I understand that everything happens for a reason, and I embrace it. I respect those who treat me right, and ignore the ones who don't. I dress the way I want to, and say what is on my mind... if you have a problem with that, then don't talk to me.

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