Trapt
6:39 p.m. - 2003-07-09

Why cant you see the pain that is inside me? You look at the outside and see the "real me" but if you too the time to see into my soul, you would know that pain is all i feel.

My mom is a bitch...she wonders why I wont eat dinner, but i had some chocolate today...she does not know it does not stay down, or that the chocolate was all i had all day. She will be sorry when im in the hospital.

Me and Amber are fasting tomorrow. Im gonna see how long i can last....i figure that if i take diet pills along with fasting i wont be hungry. I luv all the new friends i have made at SBT...they understand what i go through esp Lex, Amber, and Dana. I love those girls... me and lex had an hour long convo about your ED's...its nice to know someone feels the same way i do. Im also on the verge of quitting cigs...im doing good too.

"its not easy to be.....me"

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I believe in love, in arguing, in jamming out by yourself in the car. I believe in smiling till your cheeks hurt and laughing until you cry. I believe in having someone tell you you're beautiful, dancing in the rain, and miracles. I believe in second chances, even if you've completely screwed up. I understand that everything happens for a reason, and I embrace it. I respect those who treat me right, and ignore the ones who don't. I dress the way I want to, and say what is on my mind... if you have a problem with that, then don't talk to me.

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